10 NEW
COMMANDMENTS
SWAMI BEYONDANANDA'S
GUIDELINES FOR ENLIGHTENMENT |
1. Be a Fundamentalist--make sure the Fun
always comes before the mental. Realise that life is a situation comedy
that will never be cancelled. A laugh track has been provided, and the reason
why we are put in the material world is to get funnier material. Have a good
laughsitive twice a day to ensure regularhilarity.
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2. Remember that each of us has been given a Special
Gift, just for entering--so you are already a Winner!
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3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is
Tell-A-Vision. That is where I tell a vision to you and you tell a vision to
me. That way, if we don't like the programming we're getting, we can simply
change the channel.
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4. Life is like photography. You use the negative to
develop. And, no matter what adversity you face, be reassured: Of course God
loves you--He's just not ready to make a commitment.
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5. It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy
thoughts, thought particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a
condition called truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And
when you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in Swami's
Absurdiveness Training class: "Don't get even, get odd."
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6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our
attachments and truly live like nomads. That's where
I no mad at you, you
no mad at me. That way, there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace
begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon
all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.
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7. I know great earth changes have been predicted for
the future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple.
When you find a fault, just don't dwell on it.
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8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to
do is toilet train the world, and we'll never have to change it again.
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9. If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I
have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is---there is no key to the
Universe. The good news is--it has been left unlocked.
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10. Finally, everything I have told you is channeled.
That way, if you don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment
is not a bureaucracy. So, we don't have to go through channels. |
