Out of work? Ready for a career in Television, but aren't sure how to break in? Well, here at The Man-On-The-Street Institute, our instructors will train you to enlighten the World with your valuable opinions and hackneyed sentiments - exactly the same soundbytes that Local and Network News cry out for.

Learn what to say about everything, from homicidal maniacs [He kept to himself, mostly] to major sporting events [We're going All The Way this year!]. We teach you generic reactions to suit any natural disaster. Take our seminars on fielding follow-up questions, or how to impersonate the relative of any Victim.